I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize