She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
