PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
im holly from the hills drunk
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I need moral support for this bender
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
