The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
