There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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