i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
