I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
