I bet he comes in French.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!