Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
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Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
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The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.