Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
someone owes me an orgasm
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.