that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.