Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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