we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
