Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
