I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize