Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
