Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
