STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize