Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
