that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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