so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
me + whiskey = a bad person
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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