is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Randomize
