I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
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A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
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Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
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