what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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