got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I have aggressive nipples.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
