idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
