I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
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driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
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You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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