Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize