Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead