maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.