i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
it's like iHOP with fire
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
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