i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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