NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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