Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor