I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.