If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
