Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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