Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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