At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
