Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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