what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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