I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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