She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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