yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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