i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
