Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
