So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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