she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
