Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I need to calm my uterus...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
