It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
