I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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