They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So much rum. So many feels.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Randomize
