Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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