So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
