Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
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I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
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