I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize