farters have to be the big spoon...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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