who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
