You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
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