I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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