put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
