god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
