make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
